To earn your degree, you have to pass a different kind of bar exam...

Two Students who have been arguing: "Mrs. O'Connor, is Stripping a major?"
Me: "WHAT?!"
Student A "See, I told you it's not."
Student B "Yes it is!"
Me: "NO IT IS NOT!"

That's right kids, I said "poopy"

To my geometry students: "Give me a thumbs up if you are good, in the middle if you are meh, and thumbs down if you are poopy."

"i seriously wonder how many watch lists i'm on.
probably 5 just for knowing guillo" - Dan

"i'm not crazy, i'm just a few hamsters short of a sewing machine." -Joe, my student

"You can have a mini laptop when you are related to a famous comic has been... "
"Well give it 10 or 20 years and maybe you will be."

Dan and Tree

What kind of hair do you listen to?

Student "I need a hair cut, what should I do with it"
Me (kidding)"You could totally pull off a mohawk"
Student (dead serious) "No, I don't listen to that kind of music"

The name of the album is Relativity

Student writes E = M C ^2 on the white board.

Me "Do you even know what that means?"
Student" Yeah! Its a mariah Carey Album!"

I start banging my head on the wall.

"If you teabagged this girl would you feel like you have three testicals or would you just think you had a tumor."



Dan- talking about Kaylin' head.

nuggets

and insightful nuggets of tollerance just keep coming.

biggie biggie biggie, cant you see?

Student to his friend "you and i are just too different. you like biggie and i like tu pac"

weirdo

"either be a dick or be a nice guy - don't be a fucking werido."
Becky

lonely

in math class:
"Are there any questions?" - ms haynes
"Yeah. is one really the lonliest number?" - student.

You dont listen to directions very well.

"Its not my fault. i couldnt listen. the median was in the way" - Kaylin

fallacy?

"there is no connection between phalatio and lap dances" - Jeff

mmmm... hossenfeffer

"Im totaly wearing a T.H.O. bra and a tshirt. on purpose. .. did he just say "its hossenfeffer tonight?" "
"Whats hossenfeffer?"
"Its like angora but tasty."

-Peggy and Dan

quitter

"Unlike us, Molly is not a quitter." - tree

Statistics

"there has to be something wrong with him. statistics say so"
"keep looking, and if you dont find anything, try and screw him up"

-Peg and Mike

MacGyever

"People are going to miss me. there is a liquor store i go to every morning." Richard Dean Andersen on the Simpsons.

crazy blood

"No... the bleeding doesnt take away the crazy." - peggy.

turds.

"stephanie, why is there a turd left on my car seat where you were sitting?"
"thats not a turd. thats a piece of shit"

testing testing...

BOOK IT! =)

First, a classic:

"Jordan, what was that?"
"I don't know, but I'm really regretting having swallowed it."

And, now a newbie, from my coworker:

"Don't they still make gays ride in the back of the bus?"

I'm so glad bookit lives on.

The list....

This is an atempt to recover the book it list. if you want to be able to add, ask. ill add you as a contributer.